Attempt
by mikokatt
Summary: Kadaj and Zexion are best friends. What happens when Kadaj gets brave and makes his move? Fluffy story, no lemon, srry guys.


Attempt.

Life throws us curves that we don't stand a chance against. Most of them involve love. Sometimes you wonder if that's what it is, but for me, I knew. I knew that I was in love, but I also knew that nothing would ever come of it. I was cursed with loving my best friend.

Zexion, my little blue haired friend. He stood just a hair shorter than me, but with a temper to match mine. He was quiet like me though when he wanted to be. If we weren't together, he was so quiet people thought he was mute, but you put us together, and there's no shutting us up. I knew almost everything about him, though he didn't know everything about me. He probably thought he did. He knew that I was bi, which I was glad about, but he didn't know my feelings. I was still trying to figure out how to tell him. The problem was that he liked someone else. Another one of our friends, Xion. Yeah, Zexion's bi, but he'll never date another guy. Especially with his parents. They grew up in the time when same gender relationships were bad, and they still held that opinion. I knew it was hopeless, but I had no choice. I'd tried to date other people, and yeah, it would be nice at first. But then things would fade. Even if I liked the person, it was doomed. He was all I thought about, they others weren't good enough. It had to be him or no one else. So I was doomed, always loving someone who would never love me back. I still pinned for him though, and I knew I had to make a move eventually. And I had the plan on how to do it too.

We hung out a lot, but to do something at one of our houses wouldn't work because none of our parents knew we were bi. So that would never work, and I didn't want to embarrass him in public, but I figured somewhere in town would be the best chance. I figured the mall would work well enough. I had my plan, so I called him up and asked him to come hang out at the mall.

He could drive, so I met him at the mall at the doors. He walked up, his dark blue covering one eye like always, and a small smile on his face. "Hey blueberry." I called.

He snarled at that, he hated his nickname from me with a passion, but I loved it. He had nothing for me because my hair is silver, though he did call me moon occasionally. "I really wish you wouldn't call me that Daj. I hate that name." he said as he stood in front of me.

"But I love it 'cause it ticks you off. Ah you know I love you Zexy."

He sighed. "I know. I just wish you would drop that nickname."

"Nope, never. I like it too much." I smirked.

He just rolled his eyes and wandered into the mall, I followed close behind him. He looked at me. "So were you that bored that you thought to come to the mall?"

"Well, yeah kinda." a little known fact was that I had a large dislike for the mall.

We wandered, talking about all kinds of stuff, we switched topics very easily. We half the time did it without meaning to, we never stayed on a topic for more than five minutes.

After about 2 hours, we both got bored with walking around the mall, so we headed out to his car. I was going to walk home, so my plan was going to work. I hoped.

We got out to his car, it was an old Chevy. A nice blue truck. It was the same color as his hair, which was one reason I loved it. He leaned against the side of the truck, still lost in our conversation. "I still say that you would need a yellow lantern. Yellow ring, yellow lantern." he said.

"Zexion, hush for a second will you?" I said, ready to take action, but totally not ready.

He looked at me, shocked and very confused. I never told him, or asked him to be quiet. Never. But he was good and didn't say anything. I stepped closer to him, we weren't touching, but we were close enough. "Kadaj, what are you..?"

I didn't give him a chance to finish his sentence. I leaned in and pressed my lips to his quickly, but hard. I felt him freeze up, and I pulled away quickly. I looked down, beat red, muttered something about talking to him later and walked away quickly.

As I walked home I thought about what had just happened. I had finally done it. I had kissed Zexion. He had frozen though. Did that mean that he hated it? Maybe he would hate me now too. I instantly regretted it. I may have just lost Zexion permanently. All because I was too coward to just tell Zexion that I liked him. Looking back, I wish I had. Now I was scared that I was going to lose him. I was half tempted to run back to the mall, but he was most likely gone already. Instead, I pulled my phone out and texted him. 'R u mad at me?'

'No, y?'

'the parking lot.'

'wat about it? nothing happened as far as im concerned.'

'wat?'

'nothing happened daj.'

I looked at the text slowly, re reading it over and over. Nothing? Was he that uncaring? He didn't care. He wasn't mad, but I think I would have rather that. He just didn't care. He'd brushed it off like it was nothing. And it hurt. I didn't know what to text back to him.

'Daj? u there?'

'yea.'

'u didnt text bac so i wasnt sure. u ok?'

'no.'

'y'

'y do u care'

'cause ur my best friend'

'well did u stop to think that i did wat i did to make u realize that i want to b more than a friend'

'kadaj, i figured that out, but it cant happen.'

'y not? because im a guy?'

'no daj, thats not it at all. well, it kinda is. my parents will never allow it.'

'then dont tell them.'

'i cant hide it from them u kno that'

'i kno.'

'im srry.'

'me too'

I stopped texting him then, unable to keep the conversation going. He texted me a few more times, but I didn't, couldn't answer him. I just wanted to get home, plop down on my bed and let everything go. Despite the fact that I was a guy, I wanted to cry. I was hurt, really hurt. I guess I had hoped that Zexion would go against his parents; I don't know why I had hoped that. I knew it wouldn't happen. He always did what his parents told him. I was hopeless.

When I got home, I did exactly what I wanted. I flopped on my bed and cried. No one else was home, so I didn't care. I wouldn't have cared either way, but I was glad it was just me.

I fell asleep at some point, I didn't know when, but when I woke, it was dark. I wasn't sure at first what had woken me, but then I heard something hitting my window. I walked over to it to see my little bluenette outside my window. I slid it open to let him in. "What are you doing here Zexion?"

"I felt bad Kadaj. I texted you and asked if I could come over, but you never answered me."

"I fell asleep. Why did you come Zexion?"

"Like I said, I felt bad."

"About what? You're just being the perfect little son your parents think you are." I snapped at him.

I didn't want to be mean to him, but at the moment, I was furious with him. He felt bad? He should. He had just ripped my heart out, and he didn't even care. He looked down, and I felt bad. "Look, Zexion, I'm sorry. What happened at the mall should never have happened."

He looked up at me. "Kadaj, I'm not mad at you for it."

"Maybe not, but you also don't care. And that hurts Zexion. I can't believe that you don't even care enough to just say that you aren't interested. No, as far as you're concerned, it didn't happen. You just brushed it off like it was nothing. And to you, it may have been nothing, but it wasn't to me."

"Kadaj..."

"You have no idea how long it took me to build up the courage to do that."

"Kadaj..."

"Plus, to figure out the plan. It took me weeks of planning."

"KADAJ."

I shut up, looking at him. He walked forward, towards me, and I backed up. I don't know why, but I was actually afraid of what he was going to do. I backed up till I was against the wall. Zexion stood in front of me, just like we had been earlier, only now the positions were reversed. He didn't stop though. He put a hand by my head on the wall. I looked at him; at I could see the nervousness in his eyes. I decided to be brave again. I stepped forward till our bodies touched. "Zexion, why did you really come here?"

He looked away, and I didn't like that. I took my hand and cupped his chin and turned his head towards me. "Zexion, talk to me."

He looked down, and I had a feeling that he was just too nervous to say anything. I smiled. "If you can't say it, then show it."

He looked back up at me and leaned in closer. Our faces were inches apart; I could feel his hot breathe on my face. I wanted to lean in and kiss him again, but I had already done that once. It was his turn this time. I figured it couldn't hurt if I gave him a little push though. I shifted my hand so it was resting on the back of his neck. If that wasn't enough of an ok, I didn't know what was. I looked into his eyes, and I could see that he wanted to do it, but he was too scared. I knew the feeling; I had been there earlier that day. I knew how nerve racking it was, and I didn't want to push him into it. If he wasn't ready to kiss me, I wouldn't make him. I slid my hand away from his neck, and stepped back. His other hand wrapped around my waist quickly, stopping me from moving away. I looked at him and smiled. "Zexion, I get it. You don't have to push yourself."

He shook his head and closed his eyes. He stood there for a minute, then leaned in the last little bit of distance and kissed me. I was prepared for it, fully ready for him. I'm sure he meant for it to be just a little quick kiss, but I wasn't going to let that happen. I placed my hand back on his neck, holding him there. I kept him there for about a minute before I let him go, gasping for air. I looked into those deep blue eyes and smiled. Zexion was bright red, and he was hiding behind his hair. I reached up and pushed the hair from his eyes. I tucked it behind his ear and left my hand on his cheek. He smiled at me, though still very red. "Daj, it wasn't that I didn't care. I do, I really do. I just, don't know how we can do this. I mean, our parents will never allow it."

"Zexion, our parents want us to be happy, and we make each other happy. They won't stop us."

"Daj..."

"Tell me something Zexion, why did you act like nothing happened when you really did care?"

"I...I figured that if I could pretend it didn't happen, then I could trick myself back into thinking that you didn't like me back and that I wouldn't have to worry about hiding from my parents, or our friends. That I could go back into my wishful thinking, but never having to act. It felt safer."

"Zexion, don't ever think that you have to hide. You are you, and that's all that matters. No point in hiding it. Besides, I like you better like this." I smiled, kinda evilly.

He blushed even deeper and hugged me, laying his head on my chest. I hugged him closer, glad that he was there.

We stood like that for a while, then he pulled away. He looked at me sadly. "I should get home."

"Don't go. Stay here. Your parents won't care if you spend the night here."

"True, but they don't know that I left the house." he looked ashamed.

"You snuck out? Man, I'm a bad influence on you." I laughed quietly.

"Yes, you are. But I like you anyway."

I looked at him, kinda sadly. "Just like?"

Though I couldn't believe it was possible, he went even redder. "Well, I don't know. I've never loved anyone before, so I don't know what it feels like." he hid his face in my chest.

I smiled. He was so unsure of himself, and I thought it was absolutely adorable. "Oh Zexy. Don't think about it, just feel. How does it feel?"

He stayed hidden in my chest, thinking probably. He had a bad habit of thinking, never just stopping to just feel, to just be. "I...it feels, strange. I know I should move, leave, but I don't want to. I'm happy, truly happy. Even just being with you in as simple as a hug."

"And you feel complete being with me in more." I finished.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"That's love Zexion. You love me." I smiled.

"I guess I do. I love you Daj."

I tipped his head up and kissed him again, lightly, softly. Zexion wrapped his arms around my neck, kissing me back. I picked him up lightly, carrying him to the bed and sitting us both down. I sat him on my lap and pulled him into another kiss.

We made out for probably fifteen minutes, him on my lap, his arms around my neck, my own arms around his waist. Then Zexion got playful and pushed my back on the bed, pinning me beneath him. I smiled. "And what are you going to do now? I'm completely at your mercy."

His face had gone back to its normal pale color, but at that it went red again. "I don't know. I suppose I could do anything couldn't I?" he laid down on top of me.

I smiled at him. "Comfortable?"

He shook his head and rolled off of me to lie next to me. He snuggled up next to me, and I pulled him into my arms. He smuggled into my chest and fell asleep. I stayed up awhile just watching him sleep. It was something I always did when he slept over. He was so peaceful asleep, so beautiful. It was always calming to watch him, and I fell asleep quickly.

I woke up to my idiot brother, as much as I loved him as he was my favorite brother, pegging me in the head with a water bottle as per normal awakening. I sat up and the covers fell from me, revealing Zexion from his hiding place under the covers. My brother gaped at us then walked in, shutting the door behind him. I looked from Zexion to my brother. "I swear it isn't what it looks like Yazoo."

He laughed and Zexion stirred. He sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes. Then he saw Yazoo and freaked. He hide behind his hair, trying to hide behind me as well. Yazoo just laughed again. "Why are you trying to hide Zexion? I don't care that you're here."

Zexion stopped trying to hide behind me, though he remained hidden behind his hair. "But, I mean, this isn't exactly normal. I mean..."

Yazoo cut him off. "Zexion, it's cool. I know Daj has a thing for you. Apparently you have a thing for him too. Whatever."

Zexion looked at me through his hair, giving me a questioning look. I sighed. "I tell Yazoo everything. Of course I told him that I'm bi, and that I had a huge crush on you. He's the only one who knows, I swear."

Zexion just sighed and sat in my lap. He leaned against my chest. I smiled, then looked at Yazoo. "You won't tell dad that he's here right?"

Zexion hide in my chest. "I don't like Sephiroth. He scares me. I don't know how your mom could stand him enough to have you three."

I laughed. It was true. My dad scared a lot of people. He was like 6'7 with uber long hair. And he just had a mean looking face. Yet for some strange reason, girls swooned for him and his friends, Genesis, Angeal, Zack and Cloud. The other four I could understand, but not my dad. I just couldn't see it. "Don't worry Zexy; everyone's scared of our dad. I'll bet even my dad is scared of himself."

All three of us laughed, but our laughs cut off when my door opened. (No one ever bothered to knock on my door.) My father stood in the doorway, looking at us. Zexion shoved me in front of him the best he could so he could hide. I looked at my dad, then at Yazoo. I was scared shitless. My dad was going to murder me. I looked down, ready to get yelled at. "Hello Zexion. I hadn't heard you come in last night." his voice was calm, almost soft.

Zexion came out from hiding behind me, though he hid behind his hair. "I'm sorry sir. I came in last night on my own. Kadaj didn't know I was coming."

I was shocked. Zexion was taking the blame with my dad, even though he was terrified of him. Just one more reason I loved him was his bravery.

I heard my dad laugh, a rare sound. "That's nice to know Zexion but I don't really care. You slept in here last night with Kadaj?"

He nodded, and I could feel him shaking. He was as scared as I was. My dad was probably going to yell, or call Zexions parents or something. I was just waiting for him to make a move. What he did surprised me. "If you're going to sleep with my son, action or not, lock the door. HIs brother won't be happy to know his brother is with another guy." he turned and walked out with that, and I sat in shock.

It was true that my brother Loz was a bit of a homophobe, but I hadn't been worried about him. My dad had worried me, and now he did this? I looked at Yazoo. "What the hell? Did some kind of alien replace our dad or something?"

Yazoo laughed at me. "What, you didn't know? Dad's bi too. I knew he wouldn't care."

I started. My dad was bi? I looked at Yazoo, "How do you know?"

He smiled. "I walked in on him and Genesis one day after mom had left us. They weren't hiding it, so I didn't bother them."

"You're kidding me. They were...you know...out where we could see them?"

He laughed at me. "No Daj, they weren't fucking each other, just making out."

I sighed in relief. I was in the clear for Zexion and me to be together, now we just had to work on his parents and my brother. We could pull it off though. I pulled Zexion back into my lap and hugged him. We both laughed as we sat there. Yazoo got up and left us alone once we started to kiss.

My family was weird, but I was the weirdest as the one who was in love with my best friend. And I was loving every second of it.


End file.
